I know that adoption is a business. Anything you believe otherwise is simply an illusion. Adoption agencies have staff; they have overhead; they have advertising fees. Even though an agency is listed as "non-profit" does not mean that they do not generate revenue. What bothers me the most about this entire process is that I am in constant fear of a) wondering how we are going to pay for this adoption and b) wondering how will we ever be able to afford to do this again? Ever heard the expression Cash Is King? Never is it more true in adoption. We all know that if we're willing to shell out $40k we would be able to bring a child home sooner than we can blink our eyes. There are BIG agencies who charge BIG money with the promise of quick turnaround times and promises to the birthmom of paid expenses for 3+ months of her pregnancy.
There is nothing wrong with the families who choose this route or these types of agencies. I truly do not believe you can put a price on how you create your family. However, I wish that the adoption agencies didn't prey on the emotions of all those involved. Many times, you have birthmoms who may be young or uneducated or simply without a support network. These women find themselves scared and pregnant. Enter an adoption agency who can promise that not only will their child find a loving family but they will have financial support throughout their pregnancy. Enter the couple who have been going through infertility treatments for years, who find themselves creeping into their mid-late 30's. The clock is ticking. They feel desperate for a child. Simply pay this huge fee and get matched with a birthmom sooner rather than later. The little agencies don't stand a chance against these BIG agencies.
What I'm trying to say is that there are so many birth families who are searching for loving adoptive families for their children. These birthparent(s) really want to provide their child with opportunity and a stable home environment. It just saddens me that the agency with the most glitz is the one that attracts (and perpetuates) this cycle. It's hard to see these smaller agencies that cannot offer a birthmom living expenses, but can offer counseling and guidance, being passed over for the agencies that can offer money (and the promise of momentary financial stability) for a birth parent. I recently checked into another adoption agency who said the number of their adoptions were significantly down from the previous couple of years. She was able to chalk this change up to two things: more birth fathers deciding to parent and more agencies offering to pay for birth mother expenses. I'm not going to lie...if I were in these women's shoes, I too would consider these large agencies who could help me financially.
There are so many children in need and so many willing families but the financial obstacles are great. I know that there is not much we can do to change the circumstances surrounding this business, it just saddens my heart that a lot of adoptive families will shy away from adoption due to the financial factors involved.
