Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

We have been blessed this year.  More than we deserve.  More than I could ever imagine.  I didn’t know how full my heart could feel.  Our lives have been turned upside down and yet I hardly remember a time when Benjamin wasn’t part of our story.  He has, hands down, been the greatest gift we have ever received.  When I think about waiting for our referral, I know that I would be willing to wait another 5 years for Ben, if that’s what it would take.  I love him so completely and without limitations.

I am now back to work and what an adjustment that has been!  However, Ben is doing great at daycare and I am slowly starting to get into a groove.  The last three months at home have been heaven.  It’s been amazing getting to know our sweet son.  He is changing daily, learning and growing faster than I can keep up with.  This journey has been challenging and a testament to my faith.  There have been hurdles as a wife and mother I didn’t know I would face.  There have been moments where I’ve wanted to break down and cry out of pure joy.  It’s everything I had hoped it would be and yet motherhood has felt foreign at times.  This time I’m on a roller coaster that is so thrilling I don’t want it to end.  With every milestone Ben reaches I’m cheering him on and yet my heart hurts at how fast he is growing.  I want to keep him small and safe with mama and at the same time I want to see him flourish on his own.

I can’t wait to continue writing about our adoption challenges and how crazy it was to go from childless to mother in a three day time period.  I feel like I can finally come up for air! 
I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas!  Count your blessings as all good things come from Him!