Thursday, January 19, 2012

When is Good Good Enough?

As an adoptive mama I’ve been wrestling with giving the best to my child.  What is the best for my child?  I feel, in a way, that Brittany chose us as parents so that we could provide Ben with the things that she cannot.  I feel the commitment and pressure to provide nothing but the best for him.  But, what is really best?  Is it best that I stay at home with him?  Is it best that I work so that I can help provide for our family?  I haven’t found an answer and I feel these thoughts weighing heavily on my heart.  I know that most mom’s probably struggle with this, but for me, as an adoptive mom, I feel it tenfold.  I feel like I have promised Brittany that I would do nothing but provide the very best that I can.  The question remains…what are the boundaries for providing the “best?”.

I grew up in a very loving household and we did not want for anything.  Wesley grew up the same way.  Looking back to my childhood, I wonder how my parents made it look so effortless.  They were young parents and it couldn’t have been easy for them to always provide the “best” for us.  Certainly they struggled at some point too.  Obviously I never knew about it if they did. 

I’m hoping this is just some new mom anxiety that will pass and I will become comfortable in the boundaries of what Wesley and I can provide – we may not live in the lap of luxury but I do think that we have a wonderful life that is filled with love, laughter, family and faith.  I’m just feeling some “mommy” guilt for not having all the answers.  However, I’m wondering how many adoptive mommy’s feel the pressure to provide nothing but the best?

1 comment:

All in His Perfect Timing said...

I'm not a mom yet, but feel "pressure" to be a stay at home mom (that's what all the birthmoms want, I tell myself), but it won't work for us financially (ugh!).
Unfortunately, I have no advice, but will say a prayer for your discernment.