If I'm being honest- the whole adoption process is frustrating from beginning to end. You start out by researching all these agencies only to discover that it will cost an arm and a leg to actually adopt a child. It doesn't matter if you choose domestic or international adoption - it all comes down to money. There are fees for your fingerprints and background checks, vet appointments, doctor appointments and blood tests. There are more fees for your homestudy and legal fees and agency fees etc etc etc. It seems like the fees are never ending.
Aside from the financial aspect - the homestudy is completely overwhelming. We are very lucky to be working with a social worker who is so supportive and sweet. I want to let it be know that I don't feel judged with her. BUT - the homestudy is very invasive. We had to talk about our childhood, our marriage, our finances, how we will discipline and our faith. We had to have our worker come out to our house to make sure it was fit for children. We also had to read a book about open adoption. The entire process is emotionally overwhelming. I don't know any pregnant women (regardless of how "fit" they are to parent) that needs to have multiple check-in's with a social worker to make sure they will be an okay parent. I think what's most frustrating is that I know we are going to be fabulous parents. We both come from stable childhoods and we have the same long-term goals for our family.
Now that we are on the wait list - the frustration seems to be mounting. I respect the adoption process and understand why the birth mom has all the control, as she should. She is making the biggest sacrifice for her child and she should have complete control over the process but it doesn't make it any less frustrating for us. All the birth mom gets to see is our homestudy report and a little profile book that is full of our photos and information about our family. That's it. I know that every mom is looking for something different but it's so hard to know that I have no control in how it plays out.
The real frustration comes down to "control". I know that the birth mom has the control in the situation but I really do believe that God's fingerprints will be all over our adoption story. I know that He has our birth mom picked out that the He is directing the path. It's really hard to walk by faith sometimes, even though I know in my heart of hearts that this is a great lesson the Lord is teaching me. Patience and faith...I am forever learning patience and faith.
Aside from the financial aspect - the homestudy is completely overwhelming. We are very lucky to be working with a social worker who is so supportive and sweet. I want to let it be know that I don't feel judged with her. BUT - the homestudy is very invasive. We had to talk about our childhood, our marriage, our finances, how we will discipline and our faith. We had to have our worker come out to our house to make sure it was fit for children. We also had to read a book about open adoption. The entire process is emotionally overwhelming. I don't know any pregnant women (regardless of how "fit" they are to parent) that needs to have multiple check-in's with a social worker to make sure they will be an okay parent. I think what's most frustrating is that I know we are going to be fabulous parents. We both come from stable childhoods and we have the same long-term goals for our family.
Now that we are on the wait list - the frustration seems to be mounting. I respect the adoption process and understand why the birth mom has all the control, as she should. She is making the biggest sacrifice for her child and she should have complete control over the process but it doesn't make it any less frustrating for us. All the birth mom gets to see is our homestudy report and a little profile book that is full of our photos and information about our family. That's it. I know that every mom is looking for something different but it's so hard to know that I have no control in how it plays out.
The real frustration comes down to "control". I know that the birth mom has the control in the situation but I really do believe that God's fingerprints will be all over our adoption story. I know that He has our birth mom picked out that the He is directing the path. It's really hard to walk by faith sometimes, even though I know in my heart of hearts that this is a great lesson the Lord is teaching me. Patience and faith...I am forever learning patience and faith.
2 comments:
A beautiful post....Patince and Faith are such important aspects of the adoption journey. Trusting in God's timing is crucial but so difficult at times. You are in my prayers. Our children are out there waiting to be embraced!
I'm so sorry, I completely know how you feel! Just keep trusting in God's perfect timing like the other poster said. I know it's not easy to do though.
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