The Beginning....

Before I continue this post, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you to all our family and friends for your outpouring of love and support. For quite some time, I've felt protective and private regarding our situation. Sharing has brought me a sense of peace and we feel hopeful for the future. In a way, it feels like a huge burden has been lifted off our shoulders. Wesley and I have truly been overwhelmed by all the well wishes and prayers! It means the world to us.

As I mentioned before, Wesley and I were so excited to start a family. I had a visit with my doctor shortly after getting married to talk about some fertility issues I was having. He prescribed some medication for me (clomid) and told me to give it 6 months. If we weren't pregnant in 6 months, then we would re-evaluate.

Naturally, the first month on the fertility medication I was sure we would get pregnant. For those ladies out there who haven't even given getting pregnant a second thought, I envy you. The process is stressful and what no one tells you is that it's so emotional. What should be a very exciting time, becomes reduced to keeping tabs on when it's the "right time". You google so much that you become confused. It's keeping charts and taking ovulation tests. It's annoying the life out of your husband. And it's a lot of waiting. Waiting around wondering if it's working or not.

Of course, our first month comes and goes. Looking at the negative pregnancy test, you try to tell yourself it's okay. You try to pump yourself up and yet there's an empty feeling that you can't quite explain. After all, it's not like you were ever pregnant, so why do you feel hollow inside? So, I tried to tell myself that it's okay and that next month will be The Month. After all, the doctor said it can take awhile for my body to adjust to the medication. As far as my doctor could tell, I was right on track and my body was responding as it should to the medication.

Fast forward six months. We're still not pregnant and we're back at the doctor's office wondering what's going on. Remember that "feeling" I told you about? Well, it was creeping back in. So far I had been able to push it out of my mind and yet here it was, staring me in the face. My doctor, being the optimist that he is, thought that we had not been one of the lucky ones. He thought there wasn't anything wrong and that we were worrying for no reason. Even so, he ordered some tests for Wesley and set up a plan of extensive testing for me. As far as my doctor was concerned, he had no reason to believe he would find anything abnormal. Wesley went in a few days later and took his test. Then, we waited. We waited for the test results. That's when we got the call that would set everything in motion...