Adoption Benefits?

Adoption benefits = bane of my existence. Long story short is that my employers has no formal policy for leave when adopting a child. When we became active in February I was very upfront with my employer about our adoption. I wanted to know how much time off I was allocated and how much (if any) compensation I would receive when placement occurred. I was told that I could take the FMLA standard of 12 weeks (hooray!) and that compensation would be discussed upon placement. We are essentially in limbo!

At first I literally could not stop obsessing about the type of financial situation this could leave us in. It would take everything we have to not only pay for the adoption but then worry about how we would make ends meet for 3 months. UGH! There are certain things about adoption that are less than glamorous and this happens to be one of those things! Unfortunately, the law does not protect paid leave for adoptive families. Most pregnant women would be paid a minimum of 60% of their salary per the company's short-term disability policy. Adopting a baby in no way makes me "disabled" so any help from my current employer would come directly from their bottom line.

What I'm hoping is that I will receive the same treatment as any pregnant woman - having the option of 3 months off with 60% of my salary. We will find a way to make up the extra 40% that we would be missing. However, there is nothing mandating that the company pay me anything. It seems so unfair. Now, I actually think that when we receive a placement my company will help us out. They seem to be very family friendly but we have no answer until that happens. I will be the first staff member to adopt so there is no protocol for management to follow.

Adoption has a long way to go with respect to mandated benefits. It seems like adoptive couples face an abundance of hurdles when preparing for their child...paperwork, the homestudy, medical evaluations, waiting on the list, the actual cost of adoption etc. I could really let this process chip away at me. It would be very easy for me to see how others view adoption as a less important or "plan B" way of creating a family. It seems at every corner that adoption is undermined by the series of hoops we have to jump through. And yet, here we are trying to maintain a sense of peace and purpose. It's hard and can definitely be a struggle. I can't say that there hasn't been days when I just want to throw up my hands and cry that we cannot conceive a child. In some ways, so much of the burden would be lifted.

I try to lay these fears out in prayer. It does help and I do have a sense of peace. Nothing will stop us from creating our family but it's so stressful on top of everything else!!

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34