A Beautiful Mess

Even though I'm at peace with our wait, I still fill a strong pull to make something happen sooner rather than later. Such that, we are considering moving to a different adoption agency. We currently have three that we are looking into: a) Lutheran Family Services b) Bethany Christian Services and c) American Adoptions. Here lies the problem. I don't want to "jump ship" with our current agency just because we feel like nothing is happening. But, in all reality, they have such a small number of birth mothers a year that the likelihood of us adopting through them is small - not impossible - just small. Lutheran Family Services will up our adoption costs by approximately $6,000 than the agency we are currently at. Lutheran has told me that they have placed 9 babies this year (with a good friend of mine being one of those families...God is Great!). Bethany has placed 19 babies this year and their fees will be approximately $12,000 more than what we would currently pay with Catholic Charities. Lastly, there is American Adoptions. We would have to place ourselves with the Agency Assisted program, which means we would be willing to accept a child with an ethnicity of African American. Those fees put us roughly $11,000 (plus travel) more than what we are currently projected to pay.

My husband's favorite phrase is "you can't put a price on our family". He's right, of course. But, I also realize that we have other considerations to take into account; maternity leave (or lack thereof), baby supplies, nursery supplies, how we would come up with the extra funds and how we would (potentially) re-pay those funds if we miss out on the adoption tax credit. I hate how complicated adoption has to be. It's not only emotionally draining, it's financially daunting.

We're going to be praying that God leads our heart one way or another. I don't want to choose an agency that has the most birthparent(s), rather, I want to choose an agency that not only has a great placement rate but an agency that is fair to all parties, including the birth mothers. I want to make sure that the agency doesn't "lure" them in with grand promises and then drop them after placement. I want an agency that is going to help with post-placement services such as counseling. I hate to think of a birthmom who has no resources available to her when she is in a particularly vulnerable position. I have been reading a lot of reviews online. Some agencies are better than others at post-placement contact with the birthmothers. We'll be praying that the good Lord leads us in the right direction. I think we will (more than likely) stay with our agency through the year and make a decision at the first of the year as to what we are going to do.